The Straight-Up Truth: Why He Treats You Like Crap

Let’s get something out of the way: I’m not describing physically abusive/violent relationships. . If you find yourself in violent relationship — leave. Period. End. The relationships I’m discussing are not physically abusive, but most definitely damaging. They keep you guessing — leaving you muttering to yourself: “It wasn’t always this way, was it?” No, it wasn’t always . Your guy does treat you right sometimes. But now that your feelings are out in the open, he has changed. . It leaves you asking yourself some ugly questions: “What did I do wrong? What’s wrong with me? What did I do to make him change?” A reality check: You didn’t make him change. Without a weapon, no one has the power to make someone do anything they don’t want. This leaves one explanation: He is choosing to act this way. And not only is he choosing it … you are allowing and enabling it. Here’s the harsh truth: People can only treat you in ways you allow.. People are treated in ways they don’t like because: 1) On occasion, they receive the love they want, and they put up with poor behavior the rest of the time to get a crumb of love at some point in the future; or 2) Their self-esteem is so low, they feel (consciously or subconsciously) that this is “all” they are going to get. It’s all they deserve. If you put up with bad treatment, you are showing your partner that you don’t respect yourself. If you’ve communicated your needs and he refuses to act or alter his treatment of you, sometimes the only way out of the cycle is, well, OUT. Move on to someone who will treat you like a treasure. And by “someone”, I don’t mean a new relationship … I mean move on to YOU. Self-worth and self-esteem emanate from SELF. Start with you. Respect and value yourself, and everyone around you will have no choice but to follow your lead.

Are you ready for marriage?

Is getting married right for you? What do you need to know before you walk down the aisle? Take a closer look at yourself and the relationship before tying the knot. Ask yourself these questions. 1.Why are you getting married? Be honest and evaluate the reasons behind your engagement. Write a list of pros and cons about your partner and your relationship. If you have to talk yourself into marriage " don't. If you have to talk your fiancé into marriage " no way! Make sure you are not getting married to escape or avoid something. Have you just always wanted to get married? That's not a good enough reason. 2.Do you know and trust your partner's personal history? The best predictor of future behavior is relevant past behavior. Learn from it. How has your partner behaved in past relationships? How have they behaved with you? What has your partner learned about marriage from his/her parents? Look closely at your partner's parents " children learn what they live. 3.Have you planned a marriage " or just a wedding? Cake, flowers and decor are all exciting, but there's more at stake than one day. Your wedding is a day; a marriage is a lifetime. You don't just want to be married, you want to be happily married. Think about the next 50 years. Put at least the same amount of time and effort that you are using to plan your wedding into planning your marriage. Develop an emotional prenuptial agreement with your partner, outlining how you'll handle children, discipline, sex, money, division of labor, religion, careers, retirement, in-laws, geography, etc. If you don't plan for and discuss these topics, you won't be able to successfully merge two lives together. 4.Are you investing more than you can afford to lose? Look at the cost of your relationship. If you have to give up your friends, career, or family, for example, the cost is too high. If it all falls apart, are you going to be emotionally bankrupt? It is better to be healthy alone, than sick with someone else. 5.Have you identified and communicated your needs and expectations? Know yourself. You can't determine if somebody is good for you if you don't know your own needs. It's not selfish to have goals within a relationship. Express your needs and expectations now " not when you're already in the marriage. What are your absolute deal breakers? Do you know your partner's?

#InspiredByMom

World Cancer Day Written by Olivia Uphoff My incredible mom beat cancer at the tender age of two; and despite being told by countless doctors she could surely never be pregnant, here I am, 23 and healthy! Pregnancy for her body wasn't easy, but my amazing mother never complained. She has always taken life with so much joy and faith. Despite unfathomable health issues, my mother is so much more today: She is healthy, strong, independent, beautiful, loyal, hilarious, an awesome cook, a dog lover, a wonderful wife and the person I most strive to emulate. She is the embodiment of resilience, and as I start to build my own life, I am incredibly confident knowing she is, and always will be, part of me." — Olivia Uphoff, San Diego